I love you,you love him,he loves her #1 Over a beer

Though I don’t really like its taste,but drinking a beer and sitting on the balcony,watching people pass sets up the mood. I really wonder why is it so,it’s  not that I get high with just one bottle of beer,actually I dread getting high because people open up their hearts when they get high and what comes out then are not always songs of love.May be it’s the playlist of Jagjit Singh’s best gazals that weaved  the magic,because even my teetotaler  neighbor looked equally ecstatic.

We had been sitting here for an hour but most of the time was spent in silence except for the times we taunted each other for taking out an elephant’s share of chips out of the packet.Usually the silence during our balcony parties simply means that not much hasn’t happened in our lives during the past week which could beat the guys’s pain in the Jagjit’s song .But today was more to today’s silence ,atleast  from my side and I knew he would eventually find out that something was fishy.

“So how are you planning to woo her,there isn’t much time.It’s not that you were ever in her league, but now she has got a job which pays three times more than the best job you can get,if you ever  get one with your cgpa?”,he said

Though he sounded a bit rude but it was just care coupled with sarcasm.It’s a kind of guy code which prohibits you from direct expression of affection,care,etc…I kept silent,without acknowledging his care for me,another guy code.

‘Oh yes you are going to tell her that you will start a business of your own and become a billionaire in a year,only just that you neither have any plan nor any money to begin with.’,he added.

I didn’t want this to drag on,my head was already screwed up enough,So I thought maybe I should throw in a joke to divert the discussion.

“Arre she’s going to bring in a crore rupees  with her,after all that’s the minimum price tag for an IITian” I said.

Maybe my voice made it obvious that I was in deep trouble,I should have tried to sound more humorous or in my case more sarcastic.

“Man what’s wrong?,you sound as if you are gonna cry.Please If you wanna cry then  go inside and do it” he said sensing my  anguish.

Now here I was this close to a breakdown and my best friend couldn’t disobey the code for once,it’s not his fault there’s something  in this place,it turns you into a mindless robot.

“Speak up yaar,you are freaking me out” he said trying to sound worried.

I took the bottle and drank in one shot all what was left in it.It looked a bit dramatic but I did this because I could blame the fizz if a tear rolled down,I didn’t want to look a wimp.

“She said that she’s going to hurt herself,I think  she meant suicide” I said,trying hard to hold back my tears .

“Really man?”he said and started laughing when I actually expected him to console me.

Finally after long lap of laughter ,he held his hands to his belly to show what a funny thing he had just  heard and said “It’s really funny yaar,you propose a girl and she threatens to commit suicide.To be true yaar you are not that bad,though you are not prince charming but also not a kiss of death.”

He carried on with his laugh but  toned it down a bit,because he just wanted to make sure that I realized that I had starred in a real big KLPD moment.Only if he knew about whom  was I talking.But  how could he,I had tried my best to avoid names because now when I was about to take them,it was no more going to be funny for both of us.

“Arre not her,I’m talking about Rhea”I said and moved a little away from him because I knew this was going to make him jump out.

“Why,did you tell her that I like her?”he said staring at my face from top as I sat on the floor while the this news made him stand up just in order to gain some extra degrees of freedom to vent out his shock.

Just a few minutes back he was laughing at me for being the centre of a weird moment  and now he was asking me if he was the real star of that moment.Girls can make you steep so low,no wonder Linkin Park says ‘I had to fall to lose it all’.And what I was going to say would have made him fall off the balcony.

“She proposed me and gave me a day to reply but  I’ve been avoiding her for past week.And I never got a chance to talk to her about you.”I said.

“What?Why would she propose to you?Why?Tell me what’s going on?Why you?”he said.He was not really enraged,but rather confused.I knew before he says another ‘why?’ or ‘what?’ I had to come up with some answers.

Rat Race

As always my mind has gone into hibernation so haven’t been able to write anything lately.I wanted  to post something new as the first post of the new year,but since I can’t come up something new .So here  is a poem I wrote 4 years back(it’s evident from the poem) .

The world has a belief new found
That if you put on mask of perfection
All those people around
Will gift you with appreceation

No more the true persona counts
As long as you can act
The way situation wants
You can keep your respect intact

All you need to do is flash a smile
Even when you feel like shedding tears
It might seem difficult for a while
But it will become a habbit in few years

Just nod in aggrement
To pretend you know it all
World will praise your intellect
And your progress will never stall

If a colleague of your’s goes wrong
Never ever try to correct him
Because to the same game you belong
And he’ll have to lose for you to win

This is the rat race the world is running
Without the slightest idea that
No matter losing or winning
Ultimately rats will be rats

So if u find a rat overtaking
Just catch it by its tail
Why waste energy in running
When so easily to destination,you can sail

Of Heaven

Thanks to creative writing exam that I can manage to keep the blog active.Though this time the topic on which we had to write was not among the ones  I usually deal with,we had to write something reflecting innocence of a child, but still I managed to write something.Here  it is….

Mama,why do you take me to the church?
I won’t lie, it’s so bore
And,Jesus will lead me to heaven
How can you be so sure?

All that you talk about heaven
Unlimited candies and ice cream too
To heaven you have ever been?
I  doubt if all that is true

But if it is,
Then Ali’s mama doesn’t love him much
She never takes him to the church

The Dripping Taps and Useless Lights

In times when almost all bollywood movies carry songs with lyrics celebrating the power of youth,as in “Anjaamo ki fikar na karti ye umar” or “khoon chala”.It really makes me sad,as if wasn’t pissed off enough on missing the so talked about fun college life because of being in such a college.They make me realize that I am spending the years of my life when one feels something being impossible is the only impossibility,unsuccesfuly trying to convince myself hard that I could still pass in System Engineering exam.It really feels bad when I should be aiming to change the world I am even unable to tell that Prof of who talks of pioneering a change to first change himself.

So do you too feel ‘Powerless’? Or you feel that the term ‘change’ is being overrated these days? Let’s say you are in an ambulance and fighting for time,what would you sacrifice to help reckless Indian traffic to realize that they need to change? So change does feel necessary when we are at the receiving end.But do we have to wait for that time,why can’t we change before the alarm bells start ringing?

Everything we do has consequences,or here I should say everything we don’t do has consequences.Everytime you leave your room without switching the lights(especially you Mr. _____) just keep in mind this electricity could have been useful to power a hospital in a far off village which receives just 2hrs of electricity now,and eventually could have helped save lives.And whenever you ignore a dripping tap just imagine a picture of a small kid fighting to penetrate though huge crowds to reach to the water tanker in order to get water for her ailing mother during hot summers in some slum of India.Though sounds a bit melodramatic but his mother’s fate does lie in your hand.

It’s not necessary do something big to bring about the change,just whenever you see electricity being wasted stop that,water being wasted stop that.Everytime you do it tell yourselves it’s not just that environment that you are helping but you are also saving lives.Soon you’ll no more feel ‘Powerless’ and then may be we can kick raj thakrey’s ass.

P.S:Please come up with more ideas which we could apply here in campus.

P.P.S:For the people of my wing,who ever comes up with a good idea to solve the matka’s and gysers problem will be suitably rewarded.

An Uncomfortable Truth

As I write this post there is a lot of Made in China(and Made in God Knows Where) stuff  by my side and all of it is not just by necessity but even by choice,so it’s definitely the sudden springing of patriotism that makes me post this video.It’s just that the beauty of  lyrics and music that forces us to feel that it’s definitely the truth but not giving a clue whether is a bad or a good truth,but definitely is an uncomfortable truth.

A Page From My Diary

It’s not that when you are doing nothing you don’t have anything to write in your dairy but it’s just that writing a dairy entry would count as doing something.But there are someday when I feel like writing down what’s happening in my life and so I make that very rare diary entry.Here’s one of them:

December 31

Dear Diary,

It’s been a long time that we had chat(the last entry is for January 4),but you shouldn’t feel that I don’t like talking to you.It’s just that everything here is so complicated that I don’t feel like troubling you with my boring stories.So I hope we are good?

Today was a quite a hectic and tiring day,I completed many pending works,it feels as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.I finally  picked up the book which fell under my bed a month ago,I even threw out the biscuit wrappers(remember the one’s I had brought for new years eve?).And I have almost unpacked my suitcase,the one I had taken home for Dusherra holidays. Today was not just tiring physically but even drained  a mentally,but it really satisfying  to finally able to trace back my broom as I questioned everyone in my wing.So I am planning to clean my room soon,just waiting for the broom to feel at home as it has been roaming around in the wing for 3 months.

There’s something I feel pride in telling you.My mom had been nagging about getting the bed sheets washed regularly,though I could easily lie to her that I did and how would she ever find out the truth?But I am a man of ideals and I would never lie to my mother so I have started giving my bedsheets for cleaning regularly.Though I have a doubt that the ‘dhobi’ has found out that I have been giving him bedsheets to clean straight out of my cupboard  and is taking out his anger on my t-shirts.

As the year ends I just hope I have a few worth-wearing t-shirts left ,which I can put on and go buy a new dairy.

Bye!

Carpe Diem vs Doing Nothing

Almost all of us have seen the movie Dead Poet’s Society and know what Carpe Diem stands for.And for those who haven’t ,Henry David Thoreau describes Carpe Diem in short and simple way in his following line:

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.”

So Carpe Diem is doing what you like without giving a damn about what others think or as someone said to me “If you saw Dead Poets Society in your first year then you should have proposed to 10 girls by now.”

But looks like I haven’t got the idea Carpe Diem as clear yet and it’s for sure that I don’t follow whatever Carpe Diem means to me.Sometimes I wonder why I don’t  go for things I want,even though selfishness is in the core of my nature.What stops me from making an attempt to get what I like?Does it mean I am not as selfish as people who are successful?That makes me feel a little happy though(somewhere like all of the world I too think being selfish is bad or may be if I think selfishness is good then I might hurt my reputation).Still I feel like looking into reasons,see what makes me go against my nature.

So I don’t  have a clear career goal,may be because I am afraid of being mocked if I am unable to attain it.That means I  fear failure.I won’t go and propose a girl,then again I fear failure.Feels as if failure is some cruel demon with a sword in his hand and is ready to kill me.But it’s not so,it has to be something more than an imaginary failure demon.May be  it’s ultimately my reputation that I fear hurting,who wants to be called a loser?

So it means I am too selfish but with different interests,unlike busy people.Now I again feel happy that I am still connected to my core.And it’s also clear  Carpe Diem and Doing Nothing don’t have much difference.

Proposal

This is a poem I wrote for the creative writing class,please don’t think that I have fallen for someone .It’s just some work to earn marks.

As the winds blow my fears away

As the sun sets,my feelings I’m going to say

And a new morning for me will only be

If  in her heart she feels the same for me

But if she turns around to go

I’ll spend my life in her afterglow

Railway Rozgaar Patrika

It was for the first time that I had gone to the library on a day when it was neither our TBLS nor Library card renewal.I sat on one of the computers and started searching for Machines book, a book which was not just about issues but even their exlplanations.As I waited for the search to be completed,I saw that a tab was another window was open.It was about placements,being in my new ghissu Avtar I was all excited and began reading it.As I read about the salary I pictured myself spending all that money,but dream was short and it ended when I reached to the eligibility tab.It said minimum CGPA required was 8.With what my current CG is I would have to score perfect 10 in all remaining sems.Furious and dissappointed I decided to go out and have a beer with Anna to  lighten my heart(Screw the book).

As I went to pick my bag I saw a notice in,it read ‘Jetking offers Mobile reparing courses at a bargain price and then there was a notice about Railway recruitment’.At first I was frustrated,what do these people think?,why did they post a notice for a vocational course in an premier engineering college?But I reminded myself why I had abonded my plan to study,how I had realized that geting a job for me was impossible.So I thought I should go back to by entrepreneur Avtar,I had some contacts in Railway and pulled some strings got them to accept a proposal.But the approval is subject to condition that I should present them the profiles of all the people who will be employed.

The Proposal goes like this:Railways is going to start a new train(fully AC Chair Car) just to place Electrical’11.We have all the freedom to do what we want and creates posts we like.Just to give an idea I’ll talk about two posts which are final.Me and Ibrahim have taken the post of engine drivers,our engine will have an AC,Mini Bar,TV and Wifi.And just to earn some extra bucks we will also do a mobile repairing course and smuggle dope.

Now it’s for you people to decide what will be the other posts and who(Electrical’11) do you think is fit for them and why.Be as creative as you can,you have all the freedom.

Tombstones de Electrical ’11

Immortality is a complex concept,we all are refection of our ideas.So if the ideas live,we live.And can there be any better way to immortalize your ideas by getting them engraved on the tombstones.So here is what the tombstones of people of our class read.

Ibrahim:The space below is available for advertising:Rs10000 for full Ad,Rs 6000 half Ad.We print 5000 copies.

Dhody:Believe me I was not gay.

Kanuu:I’ll exchange my grave with you if you pay me 100000 rupees.

Akshay:I didn’t know there was a world outside my room.

Manasvi:Grave still not occupied,busy chatting with God.

Rachit:Busy in SPIC Meeting(watching Gone With the Wind at Senate steps).

Rohan:Up for anything.

Hemant:Downloading…….50%.

Giani:Trying to hack Desi’s grave.

Sanjeev:Operation C.RED in progress.

Dhaka:Is out,sneaking into others grave.

Shubru:Belive me I never featured in UNICEF ads.

Rakesh:Originally from Kerala,burried in Delhi.

BBS:Vote for me.

Desi:I don’t remember asking for a red tombstone.

The next two stones are situated adjacent to each other and a miracle was witnessed when the text of one of the stone changed on its own when the adjacent one was engraved.

Katare:I paid them extra to give me grave that’s miles away from Kannu’s.

Kannu:Katare bas,de di.

P.S:I couldn’t write the texts of all the people,but everyone is welcome to give their inputs and make this list complete.